Are you a snowplow parent? Have you ever heard that term? It’s similar to what has been called the lawnmower parent. This term refers to a parent who removes all obstacles from their child’s path so that they never have to experience adversity or setbacks. These parents often have their eye set on their child’s future and what they hope for them to achieve, and will stop at nothing to help them reach that goal.
There are many problems that arise from this parenting style. Children parented in this manner often become entitled because they have never been told “no”. When anything becomes a problem whether it’s a late homework assignment or a teacher reprimanding them, the snowplow parent swoops in and handles the issue. The child learns they can basically get away with anything because mom or dad will handle all issues for them and they never learn accountability.
These children often face more difficulty adjusting to adulthood since their parents are not as readily available to bail them out. They struggle with normal life situations such as experiencing failure, not getting the promotion they expected at work or even navigating difficult relationships in life. Because they were never properly equipped to manage their own struggles, they have essentially been set up for failure.
Next time you feel the need to eliminate an obstacle in your child’s life, instead try asking your child how they can resolve the issue on their own. Try to refrain from offering help from your point of view, but rather guide them in their own decision making. You can even help them brainstorm some ideas! This will build not only skills for managing adversity, but also helps them develop confidence that they can handle whatever comes their way in life. Work to teach your child life skills for handling disappointments.
Also, try asking yourself what need within you do you find yourself fulfilling by representing the snowplow parent? Maybe it’s your own fear of failure being projected onto your child? Or perhaps you fell short of getting that college degree or scholarship and you think you are ensuring your child never has those same experiences? These are important thoughts to consider because although snowplow parenting can help YOU FEEL BETTER, your child’s development becomes jeopardized.
If you are interested in learning more about teen counseling or would like to schedule counseling for you teenager, please contact me. A more peaceful relationship can exist between teenagers and their families with some help.
