Emotions can be uncomfortable. For everyone. But emotions can also be enjoyed, accepted and managed. Children and adolescents are particularly vulnerable to feeling overwhelmed by emotions because they haven’t yet learned how to manage their feelings appropriately. There are several things parents can do to help children through this learning process.
1. Help your child understand that all emotions are normal. Some may feel uncomfortable, but they are a natural part of life. Help your child label how they feel. If they had a bad day at school, maybe help them identify that “I feel frustrated” is the underlying emotion. Talking about emotions can become a normal part of your day.
2. If your child is struggling with big feelings, rather than minimize them or telling your child how they should feel, instead try reflecting their feelings. Do this by acknowledging them – “I can see you are frustrated”. Encourage your child to keep talking and avoid asking questions, introducing a new topic or leading the conversation in another direction. Doing this can help your child feel understood and open to exploring their feelings further.
3. Identify coping skills your child can use when feeling intense emotions. Listening to music, journaling or even an art activity can help your child deal with their emotions more effectively. They can learn over time that negative emotions can be tolerated and eventually pass. Eventually this will help your child see that emotions are not as scary as they seem at times.
Emotions are a part of what make us all human and they play a big role in our lives. Learning to accept them rather than fear them can be a huge relief. Emotions are often there to alert us to what is going on within our inner world, and if we listen wisdom can be found. Please reach out to me if you would like to learn more or schedule anxiety therapy.
