Although shame and guilt may seem similar, they are very different. Shame is a focus on self, guilt is a focus on behavior. Shame says, "I am bad." Guilt says, "I did something bad."
Feelings of shame often lead individuals to struggle with depression and even various types of addictions. However feelings of guilt often lead to developing empathy for others. Guilt has been associated with pro-social, relationship-enhancing effects whereas shame is often associated with personal unhappiness.
Bullies are often full of shame. That means they are afraid their faults will be discovered by others. Shame contributes to violence and anger, which is why bullies lash out at others in an effort to make themselves feel better inside. They are often projecting out what they feel about themselves on the inside.
The solution to getting rid of shame is quite surprising. The solution is to do the opposite of what you feel: be vulnerable. I know that sounds difficult but understand that shame grows when you hide it from those around you. Vulnerability is the answer to diminishing those shameful feelings. Openness helps release those negative feelings and gives them less power over you. Since doing this can feel uncomfortable, try starting off by sharing something small with someone you trust and see how you feel.
